


here i am (and i might never leave again)

by mimizans



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Chroma Conclave Arc, Comfort No Hurt, Cuddling, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Other characters mentioned - Freeform, Vignette, vox machina - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-16
Updated: 2019-09-16
Packaged: 2020-10-19 13:40:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20658158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mimizans/pseuds/mimizans
Summary: set during episode 81, after the fight with raishan.Vax pictures Gilmore has he had been in battle, fierce and bloody and determined, his body lit up with magic in a way that Vax had never seen on anyone before. The rune on his forehead is no longer glowing, but Vax thinks that when the flickering light of the magma hits just right he can see the shimmer of magic on Gilmore’s skin.some simple post-battle cuddles for your wretched hearts





	here i am (and i might never leave again)

**Author's Note:**

> hello, how are you, i love vaxmore and it's killing me
> 
> this is just a little thing but i feel compelled to put more vaxmore content into the world because, folks, they're just so good.
> 
> not betaed

Vex’ahlia is warm against his side and Vax can barely keep his eyes open. 

His nostrils still burn from inhaling smoke and his throat is dry as sand, he’s thrilled to notice that his hands aren’t shaking anymore. He’s finally reached that place, he thinks - that beautiful empty brain that’s only accessible when you’re well and truly exhausted. There’s a certain mental clarity that comes in the aftermath of a battle and Vax basks in the nothingness of it now. Later he’ll spend hours trapped in his own head, thinking about what he’d done well and what he could have done better and what he had completely fucked up.

For now, though, he leans his head on Vex’s shoulder and lets his eyes slip closed. 

He feels safe enough leaning against his sister that he doesn’t start at the clanging sounds from inside Thordak’s lair, but he feels Vex tense and shift. She sighs. “Sorry, darling,” she says, shifting out from under him. “I think Grog is trying to go through loot without me.”

“The nerve of him,” Vax says, smiling without opening his eyes. 

He feels the soft press of Vex’s lips against his hair and listens to the familiar sound of her footsteps moving down the corridor. 

Vax opens his eyes just slightly and watches his sister disappear down towards the lair. He takes the opportunity to scan the room around him. It’s habit, at this point. He doesn’t expect to see anything strange, but he won’t be able to sleep now without looking. The cavern looks as threatening as it ever has, the smoky, filtered light of the day outside contrasting with the glow of dripping magma, the volcanic rock around them seeming to swallow shades of gray. 

Vax sees Kima pacing restlessly near the mouth of the lair, her body backlit by the fiery light and her posture as rigid as ever. Percy is sitting against the wall opposite Vax, pieces of his gun spread out on the ground around him. His bright hair and fair skin are streaked dark with soot and ash, his visage more gray than white now, but he looks as intensely focused on his invention as he ever has. Pike and Scanlan rest near each other, neither talking nor touching, simply existing together, their small frames made smaller by the immensity of the cavern around them. Keyleth is curled up with Kerrek, her small body tucked against his large one, dried tears on her cheeks and a smile on her sleeping face. 

Vax’s eyes finally come to rest on Gilmore. He’s leaning against the wall near Percy, watching him tinker with an expression of polite interest. Vax pictures Gilmore has he had been in battle, fierce and bloody and determined, his body lit up with magic in a way that Vax had never seen on anyone before. The rune on his forehead is no longer glowing, but Vax thinks that when the flickering light of the magma hits just right he can see the shimmer of magic on Gilmore’s skin.

“Shaun,” Vax says. He keeps his voice soft but it still echoes inside the cavernous space. Thankfully, no one but Gilmore looks up, too focused on their own means of comfort and relaxation and content to let Vax have his own. Gilmore looks up from his inspection of Percy’s work and smiles at him, his face as warm and inviting as it’s ever been. Vax extends a hand in invitation and Gilmore doesn’t hesitate to walk to him, moving gracefully even with his robes tattered and burned, the rich purple and gold hidden beneath blood and ash. 

“Yes, my bird?” Gilmore asks, taking Vax’s hand and leaning down to press a kiss to his knuckles.

Vax smiles even though he doesn’t mean to. He doesn’t think he’ll ever get tired of hearing that. “Come sit with me,” Vax says. “You look dead on your feet.”

Gilmore laughs that distinctive laugh of his, the one that always makes Vax’s toes curl and goosebumps appear on the back of his neck, as he gingerly sits down next to Vax, his back against the cavern wall. “I suppose none of us came out of that encounter unscathed. But we’re still here, huh?”

“We are,” Vax says, carefully leaning against Gilmore’s side. “Thank you again for coming with us. You didn’t have to.” He sighs. “I, uh, I - didn’t want you to, truthfully.”

Vax feels Gilmore turn his head to look down at him. “Why not?”

Vax’s shoulders sag. “Everyone I love is in danger all the time. Vox Machina signed up for this kind of life, but you didn’t, Shaun. I wanted you back in Whitestone, safe.” Vax looks up into Gilmore’s face, tracing the familiar lines with his dark eyes. “Don’t get me wrong, though. I’m glad that you here. You were amazing and we couldn’t have taken down Thordak without you.”

“I appreciate that, my dear,” Gilmore says, slipping his arm around Vax’s shoulder and pulling him close. “Amazing only though? Not glorious?”

Vax chuckles and leans up to press a kiss to Gilmore’s jaw. “You’re always glorious.”

Gilmore leans down to meet Vax before he pulls away, pressing their lips together in a soft kiss. Gilmore tastes like smoke, like all the rest of the air around him, but Vax is happy for the simple comfort of a beloved mouth against his. 

Vax pulls away after a moment and reaches up to brush the hair off of Gilmore’s forehead. “I can’t believe I didn’t know about _this_,” he says, tapping gently against the smooth skin where the rune had been sparkling. If Vax didn’t know any better, he would say that he could feel the rune crackling with power under his touch even now.

Gilmore smiles, chagrined. “We would have talked about it eventually. It’s just, y’know, an awkward conversation to have with a new lover.”

“Personally,” Vax says, pressing another kiss to Gilmore’s jaw, “I love that you get all glowy and sparkly. It suits you.”

Gilmore laughs warmly against Vax’s temple, his huff of his breath stirring Vax’s sweaty hair. “It does, doesn’t it?”

“We should talk about it more once we have a chance,” Vax says. He sighs and adds, “Whenever that will be.”

Gilmore squeezes his shoulder gently. “Soon, I believe. You and your friends are more capable than anyone I’ve ever met.” He shifts so that he’s leaning more comfortably against the wall. “For now though, you should get some sleep, my love.”

Vax makes a soft sound of agreement and tucks his head under Gilmore’s. “You too, huh?” He presses a kiss to his lover’s soot-streaked neck and shuts his eyes, blurry with exhaustion and smoke. Vax listens to the steady rhythm of Gilmore’s breathing and the reassuring beat of his heart as he falls asleep. There are a lot of places he’d rather be right now, but no one he’d rather be there with.

**Author's Note:**

> [come see me absolutely lose my shit daily while i watch the VM campaign.](https://twitter.com/witchjail) i can ALMOST guarantee that you'll have a good time


End file.
